Lyrics - WOOLLY HAT mini album

(I've Got A) Woolly Hat Youíve got a big house, a big car Two yachts, you own a bar You look good, you keep trim Youíre in shape; youíve got a gym A big pool out the back New teeth, a six pack And Iíve got a woolly hat Youíve got cash and stocks and shares Housemaids, aupairs Designer clothes, diamond rings Outspoken views on everything Youíve reached the top, youíve made a stack But Iíve one thing that you lack Iíve got a woolly hat Iíve this image in my mind that I see from time to time Your face a picture of bliss as I push you into the abyss Your money talks and helps you think Youíve got your own private shrink Your personalised number plates Are parked behind your iron gates Your sense of humourís really crap Your objets díart tasteless tat And Iíve got a woolly hat I see it all in black and white, youíre black and blue Just the same as when you were at school Charisma charms the pants off everyone you meet But also makes you many enemies Youíve got a big head, a big mouth A big voice, you like to shout Youíre well read, youíre well versed Youíre well hung and what is worse Youíve got the girl, sheís got the guy The whole world, and what have I got? Iíve got a woolly hat

Big Man Donít start on me cause I havenít finished yet If you want to pick a fight, I suggest itís time you left I havenít got the punch line to go another round Maybe you should split before we settle down You canít change the things heís done He canít change himself for anyone Whatís a nice girl from Cirencester Doing with a dull head that thinks heís Mister Universe? Regrets - there are quite a few Ė where to begin? Too many to mention Ė use your imagination He thinks itís all sewn up Ė time to unpick a fight Come on, youíre sharp as needles Ė and heís just a little prick All right Iíll say whatís on my mind But you might not want to speak to me for a time Whatís a nice girl with brains and a body Doing with a boy who shoots birds for a hobby? And does he have to act so middle class to live like the poor (Thatís rich coming from you) Suspend your disbelief and abhorrence once more Listen to all the lies he tells Ė heís going to hell And if you stick with him then you are as well The storyís supposed to go like thisÖ You put your suit on in the morning Ė you put your mourning suit on A black band on your arm to signify heís finally gone A momentís quiet to reflect on what he said A minuteís silence to remember that heís dead Then you walk straight back into my life You will ask me if you can still be my wife Iíll have the last laugh and he can jest in peace You will marry me and he wonít even get an invitation Well at least thatís how Iíd like it to be But it wonít be unfortunately Because it seems a little prick is going to succeed Cause youíre his number one fan And I donít understand It seems that size doesnít matter - especially if youíre a big man.

Anthony Pig Anthony Pig, runt of the litter Bag slasher, bed wetter And he never ever knew He never ever knew what he did wrong Anthony Pig, wider and fatter Greasy and fried, extra batter And he never ever knew He never ever knew what he did wrong Anthony Pig, Anthony Pig You can see him on the town You can smell him on the piss Sweat, smoke and aftershave Large donna meat and chips Heís all the lads best mate Heís a karaoke singer Heís on coke without the ice Heís on Jerry Springer Anthony Pig, Anthony Pig Anthony Pig, big money spender Out and a lout on a bender Loud and proud and clothes appalling Shouting and bawling, brawling, pub-crawling White, red and blue Patriotic too Ė and a moron Anthony Pig, irritant Feculent, pig ignorant And he never ever knew He never ever knew what he did wrong Lives in a pigsty High, sly and work shy Heís on every holiday Heís in every town square Heís in your local takeaway Heís every bloody where Anthony Pig, Anthony Pig Whoís Anthony Pig?

(He's Got) Nobby Style The wide boyís on the right side again Playing straight down the middle, never in defence or attacking He stands tall with his eyes on the ball, grinning Itís not the taking part that counts Ė itís winning Oh he feels like Nobby Stiles scoring with toothless smiles He doesnít need lies or alibis Heís on top of the world looking down on you See him standing in the corner waving his white flag Heíll make her take the penalty if she starts playing bad But right now sheís dealing with his tackle, and heís outside his box He dribbles, he scores, heís so cocksure He knocks her into touch Oh he feels like Nobby Stiles scoring with toothless smiles He doesnít need much, just his magic touch Heís on top of his game going down on you Oh heís got nobby style So it might be quite a while Ďtill he faces up to his denial And his wife and his kid, and the things that he didÖ Playing the field like it is a championship Heís the first in his league and the first to get out of his kit This stud is loose and much too big for his boots, and his name may be mud But thereís always extra time when someone blows his whistle And thereís no substitute for love Oh he feels like Nobby Stiles scoring with toothless smiles He doesnít need lies or alibis, he always plays away Ė no local ties He knows the score, itís in the net Itís the perfect match And itís the best a man can get Heís got nobby style

I Like You (You're Nice) Nice face, nice smile Nice taste, nice style Ė I like you youíre nice Nice eyes, nice hair Nice legs, nice underwear Ė I like you youíre nice Youíre so very nice and I would like to try and Get to know you better Maybe Iíll send you a letter If you got to meet me I know how it would be Youíd fall at my feet and fall in love with me completely I like you youíre very nice Nice size, nice smell Nice body, nice mind as well Ė I like you youíre nice Youíre so very nice And I would like to try and interest you So that I might get a chance to Meet your dad and mother, sister and your brother Tell them all of my vision Maybe even ask permission Iíll charm them all with my persistence and impress them with my insistence And if there is still resistance Iíll still like you from a distance I like you youíre very nice Nice dress, nice shoes Nice hands, nice boobs Nice mouth, nice teeth Nice on top, nice underneath

© Crazy Quilt Bouquet

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